Friends,

Without a doubt people that are secure in their lives and positions, don’t need to intimidate, right? In working with great teams across the world, I run into this topic a lot. Power being obtained and maintained by intimidation. That is wrong and unnecessary. The strongest and most influential individuals don’t intimidate. Intimidation is a strong sign of weakness.

First of all, when it happens to you, remember this ‘laugh it off’! Don’t respond with withdrawal and silence.

Instead, if you think you are right , move forward head first.

And remember, it happens to all of us! Recently I had the experience that I needed to contact someone on the phone. Granted, we had yet not met, but in the few minutes which followed, this person attempted to be so intimidating that I had to discontinue the call! It was clear that he needed to prove that he was powerful and strong. Instead, he goes on my ‘never call this dude’ list!

Intimidation occurs when people are insecure or too much in awe of their position. Some of the most fascinating people I have met share a common characteristic: they are extremely humble and easy to talk to. Others are not as pleasant and especially in the tech industry, they often attempt to intimidate.

If you can avoid such people, that is great. Avoid them. If you need to interact with such people, then set the record straight from the start and don’t allow such behavior to continue.

How? Generally, if you are equally forceful, these folks back off and become nice. Sometimes depending on the circumstance you need to bring up the topic and explain that their behavior is counter-productive which can help as well.

And remember, sometimes people are not aware of how they come across, how their voice sounds on the phone or how their emails are interpreted. Sometimes, they simply are void of such skills or their title has clouded their behavior.

Having said that, time is a precious commodity. If someone reaches out to meet me, I will respond, but if the person has been unclear about the reason to meet, or it is the wrong meeting, I will politely turn down their approach. But there is always a polite way to do this. I have found that there is no reason to be impolite or rude. I am also aware that the person who does try and reach me, sometimes, had to muster a lot of courage to make the first attempt.

I have not found any reason to intimidate and no reason to use power as a weapon! Have you? I want to make sure you are armed with the ability to not be intimidated. There is a strong difference between being determined, focused and driven versus intimidating. Intimidation turns people off, reduces influence and is of no value. Instead folks, find people who enrich your lives, from whom you learn and can be inspired by. Have you ever seen someone who is intimidating and can inspire?